Tell Me a Secret: 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004

Monday, June 28, 2004

we are here finally, in amman.
it was a long road, about 1000km, and we had to stop in the jordanian borders for about 6 hour, so the trip took about 15 hours.
the GMC we had for this trip was woderful, great preformance, 8.1L engine, nbelievabe.
i think i am staying here for a week or two...
i will keep bloggoing.
take care of yourself.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

i wrote a long long post but it was deteted while publishing:(((
i am leaving to jordan in hours, wish me luck..
sovereignty is the word...
if Iraqis don't have FULL sovereignty, the flood of bodies in uniform coming in plastic bags will never stop.
case closed.
sorry for the harsh words, but its true enough.
the big day (supposed to be at least) is coming soon, surrounded with the promises of freedom and liberation, and sovereignty.
the funny thing is that the so-called American embassy, is taking the place of the presidential republican palace, the largest palace in Iraq, and the centre of government and decision making for decades, how symbolic!
an information i got from a friend: the staff of this "embassy" are 4000 persons.
and you just need to know the number of the American soldiers, who will ALWAYS be in the fixed military bases, and you know what kind of so-called freedom Iraqis will have.
the "embassy" makes the decisions, if you don't like it, the army will interfere and "convince" the "bad people" that the decision is democratic and free and patriotic and its for the best for Iraq, what do we Iraqis know?!
isn't it one funny world we are living in?
some of the elegant-suits in the white house think that with time, the hater for Americans will decrease in Iraq, and that relations will be "normalized" between Iraq and America, guess again!
take a map and see that small country that is right to the west of Iraq, yes, exactly, that one, Jordan, its probably one of the most westernized countries in the Arab homeland, you just take a picture for people in Amman and you wound know if that is Amman or one of the states, the clothes people wear, what they drive, what they eat, the music, even their language, in the rich neborhoods people talk more English than Arabic, with American accent of course.
but yet, when the Intifada started in Palestine, everyone, everyone including any punk in the street, including those super-westrnized people, responded to the campaign of don't-buy-American-goods and it became a social shame to be seen in the street holding a Pepsi can, entering McDonald or Burger King was like walking naked in the street, and when you talk to people, its very clear and obvious to them who is the "enemy", America.
and they haven't been in a WAR, or seen any of what happened in Iraq.
if anyone told you that Iraqis will forget all about what happened, the war, the destruction, death...You know that he is a dreamer, big time.
i am sorry, i didn't do that, its what American governments did.
i repeat, as i did, over and over,that when i talk about "Americans", i mean the government, not people.
ok, one thing left to say, i am leaving to Jordan in hours, wish me luck:)

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Few reflections on the not-so-nice not-our-friend-anymore Jeff

oh, isn't it funny that our American friend Jeff turned red all at once??? I mean... The upper class and the proletariat...??? Who is talking here? One thing you don't know about Faiza, as soon as she finished her education, she got married, and she went with dad to another country joining a leftist party to help the refuges, that was her honey moon, ...And... If u read her last war diary ( which isn't yet translated into English) she said "she can understand why some people might loot goods...But why burn down ministries? Why loot the museum? Why burn old documents?" what should an Iraqi person do when he sees all this happening? Cheer for the burning down of his country's capital???? It's easy for u to repeat what wolfwoitz say when he speak about freedom and long repressed people...But for someone seeing all this happening to his own city... Say, if some ghetto boys go looting the towns,imagine Wachington DC looted from the white house to the smallest grocery shop, would u be happy? And if they brought down the whole government buildings and equipments and your country is in total chaos and devastation, what would u feel?
Faiza always sympathized with the poor people and helped them as much as she could...You you wouldn't imagine how much of her income goes to poor people, there is difference between sympathizing with them and understanding what they're doing, and between feeling happy for watching your city burnt down, robbed and humiliated
oh i forgot that as a Marxist, you'd clap for the wrath of the repressed proletariat.....
oh, u'd only do that when it serves your interest... As if Americans are killing the poor repressed shia in Karbala and Althawra you wouldn't mind anyone calling them thugs or scum... In fact u'd go and call them righteous posts.....
as Juan Cole put it: the neo-cons are now killing the marsh Arabs who they long criticized Saddam because he killed them....
and for one thing.... Most of Iraqi bloggers are from that evil upper class... The class the affords to know that good English, to have PC's and learn how to use internet... I've discussed the westernized boys in an earlier post...Go check it out....

* and as i said before, my parents are two professional engineers who worked in Saudi Arabia, Jordan and then Iraq for over 25 years to make the money that we have now.... Should we apologize that we did good? Every community has its classes... And its not up to you, knowing so little about us, to judge if we are spoiled brats who don't care about our country or about our people and only care for our class...
Faiza isn't an aristocrat.. She is from a poor family... And as all all Iraq's from her generation she got the chance to have good free education, the children of the poor families were able to get their chances and go free all the way up till she graduated as an engineer, and that was social mobility...This isn't a very unusual story...( are the American appointed folks going to cancel the public sector in education and make people pay for sending their kids to school??? And we know who won't be able to send his children to school afterwards)

*and u know what.... It's funny how u equate your views with democracy: she doesn't agree with U... She's then an enemy of democracy... Have u even been reading what she has been saying for the last couple of months, or were u too busy picking those quotes u think are anti-American and show them to your audience while u r happy for being a brilliant detective?"

*and yes, most Iraqis don't actually like the US government that much.. Too bad.... Are they ungrateful by nature? I don't think that there is a group of people who are "stupid" or" ignorant" or just"evil" by birth.... The history of the ME didn't start by the glorious bombing/invasion/liberation of 2003.... I think there was a chance for good feelings in general after president Wilson declaration in 1918..But it was all gone after 1948..... That's the background..... Add to this the close history which isn't a very pretty one...And the recent people who had to lose their loved ones "and no, saying that Saddam would have killed them isn't a good answer"..... So Saddam killed us that makes it good for you to come and kill us and we don't have to complain becaue this time it's for good... Now wake up... Saddam killed people who dared oppose him and everyone who did that was his enemy... So he also had his "nice" justifications for the murders... He didn't kill people out of the blue... He killed only the "bad people", the "anti-revolutionary" people ,so the rest of the "good" citizens of Iraq can all live happily...."

*add to this the loss of security.. The sense of loss....And the loss of national pride.....And the funny fact that people don't like foreigners with big guns to come and tell them what to do....And all the stupid mistakes the US has been doing here in the last year.. And you'll get a picture of how it is...

*now let's talk about polls... Yes... Iraqis were happy because Saddam was removed from power... But they didn't actually want the US to stick around or anything.... They just were patient and pragmatic.... Now there patience is over and as Faiza put it:" thanks for the US for removing Saddam..You have done us a big favor .. Thanks a lot....But now please go home"

*now u want to talk about immorality...Yes we view American society as lacking many moral aspects and family values... That's your way and u chose it... Be happy with it ..Stick to it or change it... But we don't want to be like U... We don't want our society to be like yours... You can listen to your Iraqi pro-American mouth-pieces telling u how great the American society is... But no, that's not a common belief on this side of the world... Now if this blog was supposed to let u know what people on this side of the world think and how they live my mother then is supposed to tell u what she thinks.... If u pick to listen to someone -oh, from the other side, so that gives him more credibility- who tells u how great u are, then its good for your self-esteem but it won't get u any closer to the truth... If u need that lift up try the shrink....

*now u want to talk about Baathists... a Baathist is someone who joined the Baathist party, the funny thing that no one was allowed to work for the government if he wasn't a Baathist, no one was allowed to be a teacher if he wasn't a Baathist, baathist used to come to our schools and say "this schools is exclusive for Baathists, who doesn't join leaves", everyone was forced to be a Baathists, but you know what? My family never did that....Sympathizing with the Baath? haha, hahahaha, people who know us were always worried that we will all be killed one day cause we criticize Baathist in front of strangers.. Nope... We never did...Baathist don't make their kids read animal farm and 1984..... Baathist don't even know there is someone with the name of Eric Blair, u want to see how Baathists think and write: here, have a tour into what a Baathist's blog is like:
and look here there's no one in Iraq who is safe now ( a population of 30 million) was able to carry a gun and go fight the Baath..... Those people were the dead ones ( with their families of course)..... Now u either say that the 30 millions were collaborators or u try to understand and sympathize with Iraqi poor people, you see, the food-the health-everything was a public sector... And everyone got food rations from the country
Baath is a word equivalent to government, if you want to live, you must have electricity, water and food, that all comes from the Baathists government, the Baath was the highest authority, Saddam used to say that Baath controls the government, its the power, its above the government, its everywhere and everything, if you don't want to deal with the government and live alone in the mountain drinking from the river, if you chose not to do that, live in the city, and try not to put dirt in your hands, we never joined the Baath, we never had Baathists friends, our morals and principles were always against that.
see, as the sanctions were implemented on Iraq, technology stopped coming, because companies refused to deal with Iraq cause they were too afraid to be put on the black list, i remember dad corresponding with international companies, and gets responses as "we are very interested in your market, but sorry we cant deal with Iraq" so the result is no new technology at all, water treatment plants, as an example, that are used in Iraq are the same were installed at 70s and 80s, so dad, as an engineer and a business men, tried to bring that new technologies to Iraq, so in a conference about water and water treatment in Iraq, that was held by Iraq experts in water filed working in the government, and opened by ministers who their ministries are involved in this sector, we had a corner showing water treatment techniques, after the conference was over, all the guests, including the ministers came to see these advanced instruments and technology, that is where their pictures where taken, the pictures that are published in the family business website, and that is the incident that you, detective, used to know that we Baathists, blessed by Baathists, and all that talk, i think that gives a hint about the credibility of your judgments.

*u say my mother is like wahabis!!!!!! What a joke.... She is a SHIA.. SHIA... SHIA... Can u get that? Its so funny how uninformed you are, calling a shea person "wahabi" is like calling a very religious catholic a "protestant" !!
are you in this world? And you teach foreigners, you must know better.
and do u know what wahabism is all about in the first place?? ummm...Didn't think so ...

* and it's a joke that u have to be a ...Ahem... Someone like the incredibly "friends with America and Israel" 3 brothers to be called democracy friend...
i mean.. Come on... Wake up....
are they reporting lies? No... They aren't
they just tell u the news the way u like it, the views u r happy to hear to get the pets on their back from their masters...
they'll tell u what u want to hear with perfect English and fox-news terminology...
u call Arab-nationalism evil.... And due to many reasons ( Saddam's nationalist propaganda, sectarianism, the sanctions years, first gulf war and stories of what happened to Iraq's in rafh-ha camp to mention a few) there is in some areas of Iraq anti-Arab feelings... They'll tell u about this and make u happy with righteous posts about the stupid Arabs, the filthy Arabs, the crazy Arabs, the non-democratic Arabs, the ignorant Arabs.... Most Iraqis won't like to criticize Arabs ( since they are Arabs BTW) to foreigners...And I'm sure after we are out of this quagmire, those feelings would be all gone....
u call the anti-bush American bush self-loathing , well my dear, it goes both ways....
and one more thing... Most Iraqis want stability,security, freedom and democracy.... This doesn't mean they agree with America's ways of achieving these goals as the moth-pieces are telling U...
they are the minority in supporting your policies... U don't have to be pro-occupation and pro-war to be a pro-democracy and get the blessing from Jeff that u r indeed a friend of democracy....
aw aw wait...will you report me to the CIA too like you did earlier -like you said- to one of the people in your comment section? you are a true American! real democracy protector, and sure with all these friends from the CIA that makes you one great credible trusted un-biased recource.
AW aw:((((
majid just left to jordan:(((
that annoying teenager, i found myself crying as soon as he was about to leave :*(
i pray he will finish his buisness there, and come back safa to us...
pray with me:*(

Monday, June 21, 2004

Hey guys...
i am ashamed of myself to the maximum, i am mad of myself too...
today i was in the university, i am not sure yet, but i think i failed in two exams, out of eight.
i am not mad cause i failed, or cause i will lose days out of my summer vacation...
i am mad cause i am a stupid arrogant 21yr person...
this year, i almost didn't study anything, almost nothing since the beginning till the end...i studied only the last 15 days, that is the duration of the final exams themselves.
i thought i can study the material of the third year in the engineering college, in two weeks.
the whole material in two weeks only, but i failed, i couldn't pass all the exams.
two sleepless weeks, they were too long, tooooo long, and exhausting.
i am mad, because i know its my mistake...
i know the general situation in the country wasn't good all year, i know i had personal problems, but yet...i should have studied, at least for few days.
i know i could have done it if i studied only more few days!
damn it!
i deserve what's happening to me.
i think that self-torturing is a great relief, i will torture myself by studying like a real geek in this summer time.
and i promised myself, no matter what my results this year will be, that next year, i will be a real student, a good one, you all will be proud of me, and i will be proud of myself too,inshalla.
as for now, i will pray that its only two exams that i didn't pass, i wont be sure till next Saturday.
thank you for sharing these moments with me.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Ohh Myyyy God!!!
Hotmail is so f***ed :D
Yahoo is offering 100MB for free!!
with rich text abilities and everything...
now what should Hotmail do to let me use their survice?
give a laptop and tickits to the heaven for free?
poor hotmail, may his soul rest in peace.

Monday, June 14, 2004

i kind of hate this life:D
sleep TV eat sleeeeeep TV eat sleeeeeeeeep TV eat.
my plans need few days to start, till then, sleeeep TV eat sleeeep TV eat.
there is one important event that happened actually.
there is this nice Arab guy, who love this nice American girl, and she did love him...
but they kind of broke up, well..a long story...
he was trying to fix his mistake with her and everything and had plans to change and everything...
i thought "what the hell! i will stand for my good friend and the nice girl"
and i tried to be the bridge, you know...
and it kind of worked, not that they came back to gether, but they started talking at least, she was interested in hearing the explanations, know what i mean?
the thing i considered as a great step.
i mean, since she is interested in "hearing" it means there is hope! Don't you agree?
well, ya, in away or another, there must be some hope somewhere, i was sure there is some.
so, they talked, exchanged few emails, and...
at some point he sent her kind of harsh email, she sent him an email that had a harsh comment, he replied...But that isn't the point really, i mean till now, everything was still in the "ok-level" i guess.
the thing is, as a marriage consultant, i was receiving a copy of most of these emails, that they exchanged, i really care about them both, and i wanted to help as much as i can.
but when he received the email with the harsh comment, he was sad, and he forwarded this email to me, but he wrote one line, something like: isn't she a b*** or what?
well, he never talked about her that way before, he loves her, and respects her a lot, but he was angry at the moment, it happens, you know.
but guess what?
he did a small mistake, and sent that to her instead of me.
ohhhh myyy God.
remember when Ross made a list of the good things and the bad things in Rachel and the Chinese girl? And the list was printed without he knowing, and it ended up in Rachel hands?
well, its kind of the dame thing, well, they both, my friend and Ross, meant well, but it seems they are not meant to be with their girl, i didn't watch the last episolds of friends, did they end up together?
back to our subject..
now you don't wana know what she wrote in her reply.
the whole situation is really sad, but really funny at the same time.
well, my friend cant see the funny side about it, as much as i do.
of course i can understand that.
but i mean..
i knew him for months, the same months he spent without her...And it was bad, he was suffering.
i think this puts the end for his suffering, coup de grace.
i think i will quit the counseling career after this.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

I finished@ I finished! Oh my God! I finished I finished I finished!*jumping up and down*
I cant believe it!
God, 8 exams in 15 days, they sure look like 15 years.
now they are all gone!
the nightmare is over!
and I don't have to study till 4 am anymore :D
isn't this the heaven?
I will get the results in 10 days, inshalla.
pray for me:)
I am sitting now in the fancy internet cafe I used to attend, enjoying the ultra fast connection, and drinking a cold 7up.
and I don't have to use the die-slow-speed internet in my place, and I don't have to worry about wasting my time:)
my plans for summer?
ok, since you insist, I'll tell you.
I want to work, I want to get back to sport, lifting weights and another sport probably, I want to learn! learn learn learn! a new language, computer program, anything...Learn learn learn, its my advice to anyone who has a long vacation, if you spent it watching TV, sleeping and hanging out with friends, it will pas like a blink, and you wont enjoy it, try to learn something, and you'll feel that your vacation lasts for ever, and when it ends, you'll feel good, you did yourself a good thing.
summer vacation started today, and will last till October, unless is failed in any exam.
I'll probably go to Jordan for a week or something.
I will spend 25 hours a day on line.
and I have a secret project:D you'll know about it at the right time.
what? I don't have to tell you everything!
take caresssss...

Sunday, June 06, 2004

i totally screwd up, it was a horrible exam, the worst ever, it was a disaster, a pain, a headache, toothache, a broken heart, every bad thing you can think of.
very defficult questions, i didnt even know what did he want me to find in each problem!
it was a disaster, totally, completely in everyway you can think of.
do you remember the fish i told you about earlier?
she is happy, very happy, she is hi-happy actually, comparing to me now:D
but the good part is no one did well, so they'll have to make a curve-up or something to solve the problem.
i fell that i will pass this one using some help.
never mind.
did you see how cute our new president look in the arab garb? :)
its such a Huugggee responsibility now to be a president, its a position that i know i dont want to be in, no sir, not in iraq, not now.
i wish him the best, the poor guy.
he is the head of a veerrryyy big tribe, he must know what is it like to be a president:) and he is an engineer too, he studied in USA, and lived and studied in Saudi Arabi for along time, gives the impression of a scientific relegious person, a combination that attracts iraqis, he is a smart choise.
i have alot of pland for the summer vecation, which will start in couple of days, and wont finish till october, isnt that kewl?
unless i failed in any of the exmas, i'll have to take it again in the summer = screw the vecation.
oops, sorry for the word:D
my next exam is numerical analyses, an advanced level of mathmatics, peace of cake:) i will be online alot today and tomorrow (showing off here, if you didnt notice), the exam that comes after that, the last one is soil science, its much easier.
practically, i finished my exams.
ps: i am tiered, didnt sleep, and didnt do well in the exam, dont expect me to check my spell, you do it this time:)

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Still studying Hydrology, and i am bored to death.
i prefer listening one of Bush's speeches to this;)
i remember when Saddam used to make a speech, of course, all media, the three TV channels and all radio channels would broadcast the speech at the same time...
many times that day, and few times in the next few days.
i remember that the whole population would wonder for the rest of that day: what did he want to say?!
you would never understand why did he decide to make that "historical" speech, as they used to call his speeches in the media, at that particular day, or why did he make it, or what did he want to say.
but it was nice watching him anyway, enjoying his fancy Cubic smoke, and trying to read the speech correctly.
well, basically all the Iraqi media, TV, radio channels and newspapers, were all devoted to one purpose, describing how great "Mr. Leader president Saddam Hussein may God protect him and save him" is, that long line was Saddam's name, if you typed Saddam Hussein only in a newspaper, maybe you would have been killed for it, who knows.
any way.
now many pro-Bush fellows are jumping on their chairs and shouting: see? You admit you wanted us to remove him.
they always find away to get it wrong, isn't that amazing?:)
story of the day:
i don't have one, i have to study.
that's all:D
let me finish, and we all are going to live happily ever after:)
wish me luck:*)

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Hey guys:)
three secrets:
first..i did well in the fluid mechanics.
second: my next is hydrology, if i passed this one, i will have much hope in my life, and i will believe that this country may rise up again, i may even become pro bush..Anything..Just help me pass this exam :)))))))
third secret:
you wouldn't believe what happened today!
the kewlest thing:D
a gang chased by police suddenly entered my campus...And policemen where everywhere with the faculty guards..All armed with guns and klashinkoves, and they cornered the five thieves, and some shooting happened too, and they evacuated the campus immediately...i was like...Can i stay can i stay please please!! :D
the shooting happened was like 100 meter away of me, but damn it, i am still alive.
then a rumor spreaded in a blink that the gang's car was a set, that it has a bomb, and i am sure everyone was wondering with himself, ahh...If this exploded will they cancel the rest of the exams?
it was a cool event after the exam, refreshed my day:)
Zeena, a girl in my department, her brother died yesterday in al-adhamiyya explosion:(
peace be on his soul.
i think that is very much it.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

what's up?
i did well in the environment protection exam, my next exam is a tough one, the Fluid Mechanics.
ahh..litsen, if i could hide my laptop in my pocket during the exam, and i managed to blog all the questions without anyone noticing, will you help me?
i should blog my phone number to receive the answer probably:)
never mind, i am managing well this far...
i think i will split now, i have to start studying.
take care all of ya...
me*, The World's Blog Aggregator