Tell Me a Secret: 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

another mail:

Dear Khalid,

I am a Grandmother in California. I read your blog regularly, as well as River's and Zayed's (--- well when he was writing, I did) I am so heartsick over the anguish you and your countrymen are suffering. I just want you to know that MANY of us Americans really ARE good and compassionate people, and that we can love our country and still hate what the Bush Administration is doing in OUR name - doing to us and to all of you, and Afghanistan, and wherever else in the World the Bush people are meddling and interfering. MANY of us are very much afraid of what they are doing to our freedom, too.
He and his henchmen call us "unpatriotic" because we OPPOSE his methods of suppression and his Lies and Deceit which only causes more and more people around the world to hate our beloved country, and all of us....

Khalid, America has always been a REFUGE and a HAVEN for all the people's of the world who were tyranized and oppressed and crushed. America was always respected and admired ---- and those of us who can comprehend what has been happening are heartbroken to see and hear people (whom we consider as friends and brothers and sisters) speaking and acting with hatred toward us. I have cried over Zaydun, and over so many poor little Iraqi children, all the dead and injured and terrified little children. I cry over the mothers and fathers who are unable to keep their precious children safe, and the orphans who don't deserve any of this... for all the innocent victims, and for our sons and daughters who have been so misled into believing they were "protecting" their country... and for the ones who HAD to go to Bush's war even while they didn't believe in it. And the dear little girl who is a deaf-mute and lost her leg and all her sisters and brothers and parents. How unspeakably hideous it all is!

There really are very, very many of us, Khalid, who are ashamed and apologetic about the anguish Bush & Blair have brought down on your country. We love our sons and daughters and we know that YOUR sons and daughters and your INNOCENT victims are every bit as precious.... and as a loving grandmother, I grieve for them ALL equally.

I hope you can believe that the men who have put Bush in Power (he wasn't elected democratically, but appointed, the first time in the history of the United States) - they are the evil ones, and we will do all we can to elect them all out of OUR government but it is very frightening for us, too... Americans don't know much about a tryanical leader, and there are still a great many of us who both don't understand and don't even believe what is happening here.

In this marvelous age, when we can put men on the moon --- and even bring them back, exactly where we want them to land! --- there should be NO wars!

The International Community should be preventing ALL countries from committing warfare. It would make so much more sence if we assisted nations with developing clean water, safe air, better education; if we developed cures for aids and cancers and all the dreadful diseases; if we provided education and care for the elderly; if we developed fuels from manure and beets and soybeans; and if we used the oceans currents to produce electrical power... we would spend much less than the cost of WAR!!!

There will always be some mean-spirited, vicious, greedy people. There will always be those who are obsessed with power. We realize that's just a sad fact of Life. But we - all of us ordinary people - need to do all we possibly can to STOP their hatred and greed from spreading their poison among us!

Please hold this in your heart and try not to grow bitter against all of us...
Let's TRY to make a better world, as difficult as that is right now.

Love and sorrow,

Monday, March 22, 2004

a mail,,please read it..its form jean:

dear khalid -
grieving and mourning mean the same thing: to feel the sadness of loss. moaning is a cry of pain, stronger than sobbing or crying. i'm sure people at the uni were both grieving and moaning. the whole world has gone insane.
and you are right, there will always be people of strength & wisdom to teach the rest of us the right way. all "they" have proved is that it doesnt matter how weak the body is, only how strong the mind is & how clear the voice that speaks it. words are so dangerous in these times - because of the media & the internet. words can travel instantly around the world, not just creep slowly from town to town, person to person.
it makes me moan. "they" know if "they" kill someone, more will arise & will seek revenge. "they" welcome this - "they" can kill more at one blow(usually)than their enemies. "they" can kill on a daily basis and "they" do - so more revenge. how could this all have started because boys threw stones at tanks? it's so wrong. if you have to, throw a stone back, but dont shoot them! dont kill people for throwing stones! especially if you are in a tank & they are barefoot on the streets of ruins.
in this instance, "they" stands for israel. but when i see the pictures on the net of things happening in iraq, i think US is "they," too. you cant win the "hearts & minds" of a people by breaking into their homes & forcing them to kneel, blindfolded, in front of soldiers & their own families.
someday, inshallah, there will be peace.
jean/san diego
He was a disabled man in his 60s ..going home back from the fajr (sunrise) prayer..when he was hit by..a missile!
the missile wouldnt kill him only..but insisted on killing four of his assistants..injure his two sons,,and more than other 20 person in the street.
he was only a disabled his 60s..that couldnt move without the help of someone to push his wheeled chair.
even his voice wasnt alright...he could hardly talk!
he gave all his life time,, his youth..teaching people not to accept humilation...not to accept occupation.
was he "inflaming passions" ?
they could have killed him while he was in his way to the mosq. ..not in his way back...that way,,the street would have been empty..cause it would be very early..didnt know that?
i was in my way to the uni when i heared the news..i found myslef crying.
when i intered the uni...people were (whats the word?? greaving? moaning?i am not sure) its like when poele meet they start by saying "he was a good man..may his soul rest in peace..the murderers will be rewarded..may his ousl be in a better place..and inshalla we'll have men like him always..dont cry on is in the paredise now! ..thats what people said to each other in baghdad today..instead of good in baghdad 1000 mile away from his dead body.
Sheikh Ahmed Yaseen .. you were saying something ..we werent litsenning ..they wanted you to shut must have been right!
people now will dig to know what did hou say?? and what did you want..
they killed a disabled 60 years old man..
and created a new generation of young healthy Ahmed Yaseens.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

happy new...war.

Thursday, March 18, 2004 this worths it..

Dear Khalid,

This is a beautiful text which resumes very well what the Iraqi people had
to endure because of the greed of some of the leaders in the West. It was
written by a man "who has a conscience" and a deep sense of justice.

Objet : To an Unknown Iraqi - Hans von Sponeck. 2003-06-12
(UN Humanitarian Coordinator for Iraq (1998-2000)

To an Unknown Iraqi
There were few flowers, flags or smiling faces. Where were those weapons of
mass destruction we assuredly would find? We suffered no guilt and made no
apologies says Hans von Sponeck.

What we have done to you in the name of freedom and democracy has no
parallel in history. We have trampled the truth concerning your suffering,
we endeavoured to solicit allies through bribery and ruthlessly marginalized
those who objected to our imperial intentions. Brute force became the
substitute for the promise of 1945 “to save future generations from the
scourge of war”. It was you who paid the price.

Will you ever forgive us?

The torture of dictatorship was terrible for you; we added the sword of
sanctions. The curse of double punishment for something you had not done was
the verdict against you. Two million of you died during those years, perhaps
more. The figure does not really matter. None should have died because of
us; everyone had the right to live, as we do, in peace. Let us not forget
the many who are still alive may never live again, maimed and traumatized
forever, reduced to empty human shells. We never really wanted to share with
you the dream of freedom and democracy. All we were willing to pass on to
you was naked hypocrisy.

Will you ever forgive us?

The camera of life takes real pictures. Lest we choose the wrong lenses they
tell us the truth. We cannot pretend that we did not know of your plight. We
can but admit that we have contributed to your suffering with unsurpassed
ferocity. We knew of the malnourishment of your children. We knew of their
deaths in the thousands and felt no guilt. Our vision was properly priced,
we thought. We did not hesitate a moment to block ever increasing amounts of
supplies you needed for survival. They might be used for weapons of mass
destruction we argued. Ultimately we had to admit that the sanctions we
imposed on you were the most effective weapons of mass destruction deployed.

Will you ever forgive us?

For a long time we limited the amount of oil you could sell, and took from
this limitation funds to pay for wealthy governments and firms in
compensation for losses they said they incurred when your government was the
aggressor in Kuwait. We know that many of your children would not have died
had these funds come instead to you. We refused to allow you resources to
maintain your schools, hospitals, roads and bridges, to pay for your civil
servants, doctors and teachers. We did not even shy away from withholding
the meager travel money you wanted to pay your hajjis so that they could
pray in Mecca.

Will you ever forgive us?

It was our mandate to follow the impact of our policies on your lives. We
severely neglected this responsibility. Intimidated by the power of the
moment, we closed our eyes and ears and ignored your pain. We decided that
the oil for food programme, the fig leaf of our conscience, was good enough
to give you what you needed. Your suffering therefore had nothing to do with
us, we pretended. Our former ally, your dictator, was declared the sole
source of your misery. Whoever among us protested on your behalf was
pronounced unpatriotic, declared a social outcast, was belittled, maligned
and even arrested. This was democracy in action.

Will you ever forgive us?

Of course, it did not escape us that the most innocent and most vulnerable
among you, your children, the nation’s leaders of tomorrow, were also the
most severely punished. Your children did not get the education you and we
have had. We purposely blocked the repair of your printing presses and even
introduced postal regulations to prevent sending you learning materials,
including sheets of music. As one of you said, we destroyed your economy and
continued to destroy your minds. Again and again we withheld what you needed
to make your water safe to drink and to keep your rivers clean. Contaminated
water was a major reason why your children died. We did not care, they were
not our children.
Drought, pests and epidemics joined the forces of your dictator and our
sanctions. We could have increased the pittance we gave to combat these
menaces but chose not to do so.

Will you ever forgive us?

There was indeed an axis of evil, an alliance of governments, think-tanks,
media and corporations erecting a massive wall of disinformation. Iraq and
Al Qaeda, weapons of mass destruction and terrorism, we told the world, were
a lethal combination. Hundreds of tons of biological and chemical agents,
missiles, rockets and hordes of terrorists were ready to destroy us. An
imminent threat existed that only a preemptive strike could avert. All those
who pleaded for peace, humanity, reason and law were subjected to and
punished with ‘shock and awe’ tactics before ‘shock and awe’ was rained upon
you. With cynicism we declared that 170 UN bureaucrats and three white
helicopters were not up to the job of disarming Iraq. Falsified documents,
plagiarized reports, invented intelligence helped us to make our case for
war by instilling fear among the innocent and convincing our parliaments to
We pretended to care for your sovereignty, yet, in direct contradiction we
unlawfully established no-fly-zones in your country and announced that our
pilots were there on dangerous missions, risking their lives on your behalf.
Instead they came to further weaken you and risk your lives, not ours,
before declaring war.

Will you ever forgive us?

For a long time our spin doctors tried to keep us hostage as we watched the
tragedy of war and illegality coming closer to your borders. Deep were the
divisions among us. Many feared for you while others could not wait to begin
a war that had been decided long ago. Our leaders needed to distract us from
urgent and numerous social and economic problems. Our eviction from your
next door neighbour was imminent. Without your oil the strategy for global
domination would not work.

Will you ever forgive us?

We told our young men and women in uniform that they were fighting evil and
defending the good. Years of hard work spent refining the technology of
death and costing millions of dollars gave us the confidence that the losses
would be on your side and not on ours. We ensured that the reports from the
war front would portray us as heroes and you as the villains, extensions of
an evil dictator. As predicted the most uneven war in history did not last
long. Our new weapons were simply too good. While we continued our lives in
the comfort of peace, we watched you suffering the horror of war. Honest
reporting of a war that was killing your sons and daughters and ours as well
could have meant the end of a career for a journalist.

Will you ever forgive us?

There were few flowers, flags or smiling faces. Where were those weapons of
mass destruction we assuredly would find? We suffered no guilt and made no
apologies. Unfortunately for you, no plan was made for starting the healing.
Victors are victors. Chaos suited us well… but we made certain that the oil
administration was safe. Our concerns were not yours, quite to the contrary.
We watched and encouraged your anger and hate. Yes, your dictator deserved
it. However, the greed, yours and ours, raped our common heritage. Your
museums are empty, your libraries burnt, your universities destroyed. Only
your pride is still there…. and our guilt.

Will you ever forgive us?

Geneva, 1 June 2003
* H.C. Graf Sponeck
UN Humanitarian Coordinator for Iraq (1998-2000)

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

i want you to read this is from a great friend..and a wounderful writter....mary :


What does having a baby have to do with the CIA, traffic jams, hating yourself,
happy looters, feeling embarrassed in front of the whole world...? Probably
nothing, but I can only talk about what I know about...

Some guys don't want to hear anything about women or their bodies, so I'll try
not to be too gross...

I'm not going to talk about what causes pregnancy. We'll start with once you
know you are...

Even though married, my first reaction has always been, "What have I
done...?!" Like I did something wrong or stupid. (I live in an anti-child
society.) I didn't look
forward to the event of childbirth. My body would go through this period
of feeling sick all the time. I would think, no, I don't feel so bad, it could
be worse. But when, halfway through the pregnancy, I began to feel better, then
I would realize that I really hadn't felt well at all. This happened every time.
But, I remember the
first time I heard my baby's heartbeat. I asked the doctor, "Are you sure
that's what that is, the baby's heartbeat?" The dr. said, "Yes, I'm sure. There
is no sound like it in the whole universe." Wow. Then there's the experience of
feeling the baby moving around inside of you. Khalid, there is no feeling quite
like that in the whole universe, either. But then, the baby begins to get big,
until it
seems there's no more room, you can't breathe, your skin feels as if it is going
to pop, all you feel like doing is nothing, and nobody knows the day or the hour
that the baby will eventually be

Then comes labor. Yippee. I thought I knew what pain was. The intensity of the
contractions was beyond belief--they really do take your breath away. Just when
I thought they were really starting to hurt, they'd get worse! At this point, I
did NOT want anyone to touch me at all, not even to comfort me. (It might spoil
my concentration--lol--not that I was actually doing anything other than just
trying to live past this!) Another strange thing, I don't know why, but for some
reason, at this point, except for once, I always got sick and threw up. Did you
think having a baby wasn't messy? Well, after all the grossness, and blood, and
pain.....there's the baby....Did you ever see anything so beautiful--and
precious--in your whole life? And then there's more pain and more blood (the
afterbirth)...but then the newborn takes its first meal (from you!)..and then
there's more pain as the uterus contracts..and the baby begins to thrive. It
doesn't end there, of course, the baby continues to grow, and make messes for
someone else to clean up.
More information than you ever wanted to know, right?

You know, Khalid, your mother went through something similar, but look what she
ended up with: her beloved Khalid. :)

Whatever your personal feelings about the legitimacy of the USA's involvement in
your country, Khalid, it seems to me that Iraq is having a baby. Now, I hope
you realize, Khalid, that no analogy is perfect, and please don't read anything
into this that I'm not's not the baby's fault what happened
between the parents, however you see it. What's done is done. So, the baby
should not blamed or punished because of anything the parents may or may not
have done. Once born, though, this baby needs a name. Personally, I like the
name "Freedom", but it is you to whom has been given the privelege of naming
this baby.

I care about you, Khalid--I think you know that--and when you say you feel like
crying, that you are
sad, the mother in me wants to reach out to you, just like I would my own son.
All people always hate change, they experience it as loss, and it makes them
angry. I heard someone say that once. Maybe it's true. Try to see past the
labor to the baby on the other side.

Your friend,

Sunday, March 07, 2004

do you know what is the funny thing about the explisions that happened in ashoora?
that everyone blames..america:)
it seems that we always find away to make it your fault guys.....but itnt it? who knows..lets wait till the head of the CIA retires and publish his diary:)
baghdad now is bacl to normal..normal?whatever that meens:)
i'll tel you what...remember when i said that the americans closed many importnat streets in baghdad the thing that cause a traffic jam everywhere? ok..nothing changed..yesterday..i tryed to go to the uni twice ..and i couldnt reach it because of the traffic...traffic should be considered as one of the distroys your nurves..makes you really sad..makes you hate people..and if the wheather is as hot as it is here..and the cars are as old as the taxies here are..traffic makes you hate yourself.
do you believe that it is almost a year now?
a yearr?
yesterday i was with mom going through a street that leed to my uncle's place..a certain street that we dont use usually...but we used it the day we ran away from our house during the heavy bombing right beside our neighbor...there is a govermental building in this street..a really big one..the door was opened and everythign you could dream of was being stolen from inside..hundreds of hapyp looters were there...when we passed by that all came back to us..and we stopped talking and went in silence....everything was coming back again...our beloved butiful baghdad was being killed slowly..and on tv screens infront of the whole world.
i have seen alot of women crying in my life....girls in mu uni..women who lost someone they love...but i never remember seeing men crying..specially an arabic is a big believe me..when you see that much of men know that the lose
is a country..a nation.
i want to cry now..i am so sad.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

breaking news:
i called my uncle this check the last news....and guess what??
Amman was there sitting between them!
the kidnappers finally setteled for 20 000$ (only).
the funny thing is when they told him that they are gonna release him..they kissed him good bye..and told him that they are sorry!!
what is happenning to this freaky world?
after uncle was happy..he is bank rapped i think..and i think that he sold one of his cars too...and borrowed some money least that what he never know if it is the truth when a pesron says how much money he have..i can believe a women when she tells me how ild she is..but never believe a man hen tells me how much he is always either much more or much less.
this chapter is finished...the whole family discovered that they love Ammar and that they would miss him alot if he werent there..
do we have to lose people we know to know how important they are for us?

charich those who you know..appreciate their exictance..non of them will be around for ever.
the latest news: they managed to decrease the number to 50 000$ this far...
the kidnapped young man..Ammar..called again yesterday..and he is ok.
baghdad seems to me as a really sad city.
in the streets were is not the same baghdad that i know and is a city of ghosts..where you can smell death instead of air..and where your heart is expecting a shock all the time..this is what baghdad looked like in ashoora.
my cousine...who is a 20 archetect student...left his place the day before ashoora (or the day before) by his car early morning..heading to the uni,, couple of hundreds of meters away only from his place..someone shouted "a float tire" and when he got out to check..he found guns pointed at him and people asking him to get in the car with them..they left the car there..and kidnapped him.
the day after..they called..saying that they want 200. 000$ yes..two hundreds thousands US dollars to release him.
and the negotiations are still going on..
one of the gang that kidnapped him seems to be a nice guy...when he is alone with my cousin..he lets him call his parents!! isnt that just sweet?
it is becoming a comon hear that someone was kidnapped..people dont get too worry anymore when their children are is a matter of few days of missing him only...and a financial disaster that coasts the family all what they worked for their intire life.
isnt it nice that we still trust each other?? we have the faith that they always keep their word and dont kill the kidnapped nice! tell the friend's brother was kidnapped..and they paid alooot of many..i heared that they sold a house they have in Jadiriyya..a fancy neighborhood..but their gang werent that nice...they killed the boy.
pray for us.
me*(, The World's Blog Aggregator