Tell Me a Secret

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

hey...
i want you to read this mail..please..it is from a great friend..and a wounderful writter....mary :




Hey:))

What does having a baby have to do with the CIA, traffic jams, hating yourself,
happy looters, feeling embarrassed in front of the whole world...? Probably
nothing, but I can only talk about what I know about...

Some guys don't want to hear anything about women or their bodies, so I'll try
not to be too gross...

I'm not going to talk about what causes pregnancy. We'll start with once you
know you are...

Even though married, my first reaction has always been, "What have I
done...?!" Like I did something wrong or stupid. (I live in an anti-child
society.) I didn't look
forward to the event of childbirth. My body would go through this period
of feeling sick all the time. I would think, no, I don't feel so bad, it could
be worse. But when, halfway through the pregnancy, I began to feel better, then
I would realize that I really hadn't felt well at all. This happened every time.
But, I remember the
first time I heard my baby's heartbeat. I asked the doctor, "Are you sure
that's what that is, the baby's heartbeat?" The dr. said, "Yes, I'm sure. There
is no sound like it in the whole universe." Wow. Then there's the experience of
feeling the baby moving around inside of you. Khalid, there is no feeling quite
like that in the whole universe, either. But then, the baby begins to get big,
until it
seems there's no more room, you can't breathe, your skin feels as if it is going
to pop, all you feel like doing is nothing, and nobody knows the day or the hour
that the baby will eventually be
born...

Then comes labor. Yippee. I thought I knew what pain was. The intensity of the
contractions was beyond belief--they really do take your breath away. Just when
I thought they were really starting to hurt, they'd get worse! At this point, I
did NOT want anyone to touch me at all, not even to comfort me. (It might spoil
my concentration--lol--not that I was actually doing anything other than just
trying to live past this!) Another strange thing, I don't know why, but for some
reason, at this point, except for once, I always got sick and threw up. Did you
think having a baby wasn't messy? Well, after all the grossness, and blood, and
pain.....there's the baby....Did you ever see anything so beautiful--and
precious--in your whole life? And then there's more pain and more blood (the
afterbirth)...but then the newborn takes its first meal (from you!)..and then
there's more pain as the uterus contracts..and the baby begins to thrive. It
doesn't end there, of course, the baby continues to grow, and make messes for
someone else to clean up.
More information than you ever wanted to know, right?

You know, Khalid, your mother went through something similar, but look what she
ended up with: her beloved Khalid. :)

Whatever your personal feelings about the legitimacy of the USA's involvement in
your country, Khalid, it seems to me that Iraq is having a baby. Now, I hope
you realize, Khalid, that no analogy is perfect, and please don't read anything
into this that I'm not saying...please...it's not the baby's fault what happened
between the parents, however you see it. What's done is done. So, the baby
should not blamed or punished because of anything the parents may or may not
have done. Once born, though, this baby needs a name. Personally, I like the
name "Freedom", but it is you to whom has been given the privelege of naming
this baby.

I care about you, Khalid--I think you know that--and when you say you feel like
crying, that you are
sad, the mother in me wants to reach out to you, just like I would my own son.
All people always hate change, they experience it as loss, and it makes them
angry. I heard someone say that once. Maybe it's true. Try to see past the
labor to the baby on the other side.

Your friend,
Mary

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