Tell Me a Secret

Monday, June 21, 2004

Hey guys...
i am ashamed of myself to the maximum, i am mad of myself too...
today i was in the university, i am not sure yet, but i think i failed in two exams, out of eight.
i am not mad cause i failed, or cause i will lose days out of my summer vacation...
i am mad cause i am a stupid arrogant 21yr person...
this year, i almost didn't study anything, almost nothing since the beginning till the end...i studied only the last 15 days, that is the duration of the final exams themselves.
i thought i can study the material of the third year in the engineering college, in two weeks.
the whole material in two weeks only, but i failed, i couldn't pass all the exams.
two sleepless weeks, they were too long, tooooo long, and exhausting.
i am mad, because i know its my mistake...
i know the general situation in the country wasn't good all year, i know i had personal problems, but yet...i should have studied, at least for few days.
i know i could have done it if i studied only more few days!
damn it!
i deserve what's happening to me.
i think that self-torturing is a great relief, i will torture myself by studying like a real geek in this summer time.
and i promised myself, no matter what my results this year will be, that next year, i will be a real student, a good one, you all will be proud of me, and i will be proud of myself too,inshalla.
as for now, i will pray that its only two exams that i didn't pass, i wont be sure till next Saturday.
thank you for sharing these moments with me.

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