Tell Me a Secret

Monday, December 22, 2003

hey...
do i love her?
everyone keeps asking me the same question.
wel..am gona disapoint you all..i dont!
but i wouldnt think that this kind of secrets what you are after..right ;)
SO, i have someone elese in my mind/not my heart/ and am not sure what to do.
here am i talking about uninteresting stuff again.
sorry!
ok, it is funny what happened here..in iraq..one day you c people and they all seem to love Saddam and they seem to be happy with the system and the baath party..and most of them were actually attanding the party meetings,,and...
next day at the uni..after the war..i saw the same people i saw for the last four years..the same faces..but the funny thing that they all have defferent openions!some of them turned out to be a biiig opposite and a Saddam hater..most of them i have to say..and some others..were still loving Saddam and defending him..the most amazing part was about that doctor..who was leading the party meetings..and now he is giving us lectures about how happy should we be for getting red of Saddam!..its such a wierd situation...the day Saddam was caught,,i entered the classroom and i just didnt know what to say! i said loudly.."assalamo alaykom" ...which is the normal "hi" here..so everyone gave me attention,,i said " congratilations for those who are happy.and deep sempathies for those who are sad" !! i wanted to please everyone..but it ended up that the both sides hated me:)) i think!
Propably..Saddam is one of the very few individualse on the green plnet that i hate..
but still..the last thing i thought of when i saw him between "their" hands..is to be happy..no sir..am sorry to disappoint you CIA folks..but i didnt receive your soldiers with roses..and i wasnt happy for Saddam's arrest.
know why?
cause propably, althought we hate him..although he distroyed us completely..although he distroyed our economy..our lifes..even our relegion,,but still, he was one of the few left who werent in the american conspirany ..i meen..he was one of the few who said NO to the devil (american fellows..nothing personal..its your goverment who am talking about),,propably that what made me sad,,again..the bad guys won.
we have that say here.."the enemy of my enemy is my friend" i think that is whats happened here.
enemy?ya,,unfortuantly..your goverments policy put them (and sometimes you) in the position of the enemy..isnt that true?
know something? i like american people..lately..during and after the war..i met so many foreigners,the thing that wasnt possible before;europians..americans..far east people..far west people..i worked with some of them..i made friendships with many others..and am still making new friends,,,what i want to say..is according to my strange way of observing human behaviour..i look to people as if they were another specie..another kind of life..even iraqi and arab people..this way i can think clearly..watch silently..make judgments..avvoid the pre-made ones.
so,,after that process..i discovered..and dont laugh here,,,that we all are human beings!,we all have the same dreams...we all have the same hopes..we all have the same ambisious..we laugh..we cry..we want to raise our kids..we want peace..we want to feel happy..we want to love and be loved..isnt that right?
say yes please.
so if me..the simple 21 years old guy living in baghdad, where they lately heared about this invention called internet..and where they havent seen a mobile phone or a cridit card in their lifes..where no one ever heared about the big Mac (!), i say if I could c it..why the hell cant "one" of the most advanced goverments in the history of humanity c it too?
ya guys..am talking to you.
we were having a simple life..where the basic life needs are available and cheap..where security is not an issue..we used to drive back home at 3 am and feel safe..we lived a life where we didnt have the right to say something about poletics..thats true..and where people were killed for cursing Saddam..thats true..but..at least we had a life..we could leave our places not worrying about the possibiliy of me not taking the insult of an american soldier who insult people on check points and do something stupid...am afraid that "they" would kill me by mistake..am afraid that anyone of my family could get the same thing...am afraid that they will break suddenly into my place looking for someone or something and distroy and steal everythingn in the process..am afraid..to critisize the americans..cause Bramer actually made a law for that saying that any kind of inflaming feeling against the ocupation will be considered as an attack or something..am afraid to go back home..cause i know that there would be no electricity and that it will be dark and cold..so blue.
believe it ot not guys,,before you we had a life..a slow motion low-teck life? thats true..thanks to *you* we had a life,,,but now.....we dont.

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